“10 Ways to Murder You with My Yard” by Christy Vlachos Jones

Yes, my pretties.   I can kill any who come along armed with nothing more than my charm and my wits…and a few of the plants that grow on my property. Would you be interested in touring my lovely macabre garden? Actually, it probably looks a lot like yours.  

10. Datura

My personal favorite, also known as Jimson weed and Devil’s Snare. It grew up as a weed along the edge of my garden and I let it grow out of curiosity. This was mentioned as the basis of certain darts in the film “XXX,” that caused a victim, if hit, to fall as if struck with a mortal wound, and then wake later with a pounding headache and no idea where he was. cpThey were mentioned more recently in the television series “Underground,” in which the main character threw some of the plant onto the fire and anyone in the vicinity of the smoke became enraptured with vivid hallucinations. The plants name “Jimson weed” is actually said to have derived from the name “James Town weed” because, according to the story, the plant was consumed by British soldiers there who ate the leaves on a salad there in 1676. They miraculously survived their ordeal after eleven days of vivid hallucinations and some reputed naked wackiness. I can grind up some of these seeds in a pepper grinder, and put it in your food.

 

9. Wisteria

This beauty’s sweet scent brings me full tilt to my girlhood, to porch swings and warm, sticky late spring evenings. Every Southerner knows that it is as much as blessing as a curse, and you have to keep it in check. The luscious, heady-scented blooms have a woodyc3 vine that, in time, can literally take down a building. Worse, still, it can take you down, too. The seed contain a deadly toxin. The plant self propagates, interestingly, and these seeds actually explode from their pods at a distance of 70 feet, some have claimed. I can sauté some of these up lightly, I suppose, while they are still tender, just enough to flavor them.

 

8. Hemlock

Hemlock is the notorious poison once used to for ushering condemned prisoners into their hemlocknext lives, such as in the case of Socrates. The pretty white flower is often mistaken for Queen Anne’s Lace (Wild Carrot). Hemlock is quite toxic, and deaths of both humans and livestock continue to be reported. This I can easily mix into a soup, or a salad.

 

 

7. English Ivy

Actually, if I could get you to eat any of this, I probably couldn’t convince you to eat english_ivyenough of it to kill you. The saponin Hederin that is present in the leaves irritates the mucous membranes and causes blisters and sores in the mouth so that those that decide to snack on the leaves don’t get far enough into their snack to cause more than vomiting, coughing and diarrhea. I think I could find a way to sneak it into your meal.

 

6. Hydrangea

hydrangeaInterestingly, these blooms will vary from blue-violet to pink to white depending on the acidity of your soil. These are very pretty, romantic flowers, and so deadly! These have a cyanide-like component in them. Though a case of death by hydrangea would take many leaves, I’m sure with proper dedication we could make that happen.

 

5. Buttercups

These harmless-looking flowers are anything but. The pretty, buttery-yellow flowers shine in the sun and you think not “oh, by such means may I die.” But, perhaps you should, dear guest. These contain ranunculin, a glycoside that causes an intense blistering buttercupsthough in mucous membranes, the mouth and throughout the intestinal tract, so I may not be able to convince you to eat enough of these to kill you. They have been problematic for livestock, and have caused vomiting and bloody diarrhea. There is another component that will cause respiratory failure and another that may cause liver damage. Such cute little sunny flowers!

 

4. Oak

oakNative Americans used acorns for food for thousands of years, and it isn’t a bad thing to know how to do in a pinch. Carol, a character in the television series “The Walking Dead” has done this very thing, and made cookies from acorns she found in the woods once when her community was running low on flour. It may take quite a lot for me to kill you with oak, but I can make you bread, cookies, grits and lovely pancakes out of the acorns from the red oak and after a while you will have renal failure due to the tannic acid.

 

3. Foxglove

This exquisite bloom is often found in gardens, and it is the source for the cardiac foxgloveglycoside digoxin. The medicine derived from this plant is given to patients suffering from congestive heart failure. But there is a very low therapeutic margin. This plant will actually stop your heart.

 

***

2. Daffodils

daffodilThis bright yellow flower is a welcome sight in the spring, brings hope of a warm season ahead. But if I cut the bulbs and serve them up to you as onions, they can cause vomiting, diarrhea, tremors, convulsions and cardiac arrhythmia.

 

 

1. Carolina Horsenettle

This plant has little thorns under its leaves, and little flowers from June through August. Then, later, there will be little cherry-tomato like berries, yellow in color that come up horesenettlefrom a two foot tall stem. They contain a glycoalkaloid called solanine that affects the nervous system and irritates the mucous membranes, causing (in sufficient amounts) dilated pupils, weakness, depressed respiration, and eventual collapse and death.  These I will serve to you disguised as little tomatoes, probably served in a nice salad, my dearies.

 

***

So, who is brave enough to take a walk through my garden? I can show you more…

 ***

References

520, noahtodda. (2013, January 14). Acorns: A great resource. Retrieved September 16, 2016,

from https://survive-prepare.com/2013/01/14/acorns-a-great-resource/

 

Agriculture, D. of, & Resources, N. (2016). We’ve updated our site. Retrieved September 16,

2016, from http://mgsantaclara.ucanr.edu/site-update-notice/

 

Editors, the. (2016). How toxic is horse Nettle? Retrieved September 16, 2016, from

http://equusmagazine.com/article/how-toxic-is-this-weed

 

 

Standard, N. (2011). Bulbous buttercup (Ranunculus bulbosus) – nutrition house. Retrieved

September 16, 2016, from

http://www.livingnaturally.com/ns/DisplayMonograph.asp?StoreID=3D9D155236034A5

897378F7C5A033221&DocID=bottomline-bulbousbuttercup

 

Images from: Pixabay. (2016). Free image on Pixabay September 16, 2016, from

https://pixabay.com

 

 

Trump Unfriendings by Danusha V. Goska

danusha_goska

John was tall but straight-limbed thin and his baggy Catholic school uniform – blue slacks, white shirt, tie – hid no Darwinian strategy in or appetite for the survival of the fittest. The mob surrounding John moved according to an ancient choreography, as does a murmuration of starlings, but ugly. The other boys had never been trained in fighting, either. They were small-town, bottom-of-the-barrel, poor students in a school with no music, no art, no gym, no air conditioning. Just elaborately costumed nuns wielding long rulers on fifty-five baby boomers per room. But the attackers’ genes skilled them in skinning a fellow human. Smaller boys skipped up ahead to cut off John’s escape – just as wolves corner deer. Others, lackadaisical, languidly brought up the rear. With the same movements, they could have been the tail end of a church procession or a walk to the corner for cigarettes. A more definable scrum of first-stringers ringed John tightly. He’d never escape, even if he tried, but he wasn’t even trying. The alpha delivered direct blows. Over and over. Short, sharp punches, shot out erratically, timed by sadism’s metronome. Blows to John’s arm, his temple, his neck, his cheek. Beta males, not allowed the privilege of striking blows, squealed the worst words at John. Spat on him. With their thumbs and forefingers, pecked at the edges of his clothing. Distracting John, confusing him. Bash: another punch landed.

John, feebly, weirdly, laughed. John was miming, “Please like me. Please allow me to be just one of the guys.”

The playground was a square of macadam surrounded by a chain link fence. Through the fence we could see the gardens, clotheslines, and swing sets of our neighbors. Over the school roof rose the church spire.

I just attempted to google John. I want to know that he recovered and prospered and triumphed over what these monsters did to him. I couldn’t find him. His name really was “John” and his last name was almost as common.

God, people suck.

But there is a world where people are noble, attractive, rational, and kind. An onscreen world. To reach it, all I had to do was walk home from school and switch on our family’s one black-and-white TV. Billy Wilder, Frank Capra, John Ford, Preston Sturges, Victor Fleming, Sam Goldwyn and other filmmakers concocted wit, repartee, romance and adventure.

We all have to come to terms with the dark side in human nature. Me? I have felt best alone. I’m just not equipped. I don’t have the moves, the appetites, or the instincts to be a wolf in a pack. And so I watch a lot of movies. And I struggle with loneliness.

***

And along came the internet. Alleluia. I need never be lonely again.

I thought that the internet would mean, to human relations, what the industrial revolution meant to labor. I thought that much suffering had been caused by misunderstandings. The internet’s means of interaction, typed words on a screen, eliminated that problem. How could we misunderstand each other if our words were right there? Struggle for resources caused problems between people: “Get off my lawn.” But there were no material resources on the internet. Anyone could type in whatever anyone wanted. Finally, we were all equal. Differences in physical appearance aroused hatred and discrimination. Ugly women, black people, white people, people wearing expensive clothing or rags: all these tension-causing differences disappeared. Finally, we connected soul to soul.

I was so naïve.

***

Over twenty years ago I was part of a pioneering internet discussion group. Finally I could write and actually be read. Finally my ugliness and poverty didn’t matter. I could connect with nerds like myself living hundreds or thousands of miles away. Charlie in LA loved films and literature as much as I. We went on for weeks about Brief Encounter.

Humans find the snake under the apple tree no matter what Eden they inhabit.

One day, Larry called Anne fat. Anne asked her allies to denounce Larry. Within a day, there were thousands of posts attacking Larry. This was a virtual feeding frenzy, a lynch mob, a show trial. Bystanders drafted alliances as ironclad as those dominoes that fell into the shape of the First World War – “You are with the Hapsburgs and I am with the Romanovs so I must burn your fields!” Posts meant to be about movies or politics or opera contained hidden references only combatants could decipher that settled this or that score.

I wanted to talk about opera. I wanted to talk about film. I wanted to talk about the history of the Albigensian Crusade. That users hijacked these conversations to settle scores was an abomination to me. A frequently repeated truism never made more sense: great conversations focus on ideas. Average conversations focus on events. Small conversations focus on people.

There were other problems in paradise. I realized that the internet, with its distance communication, was inviting me to commit a great sin: to dehumanize others.

I recognized that I had to practice discipline: I had to constantly remind myself that there was a human at the receiving end of my words. I made it my practice to call people by name, to look at their headshot. To consider how the person would feel if I said this or that to them in person.

The internet grabbed my hand and lured me into the cave of narcissism. I had to stop my ears with wax and smack the siren’s hand away. I committed to focusing on other people’s posts, not just my own.

I looked at photographs of other people’s kids. I care less about few things than photographs of other people’s kids. I don’t have kids and feel some sadness about that (and some relief). It’s not easy for me to look at other people’s kids, especially the adult children of people I went to high school with. Not having had kids, I experience passing time differently. I feel that *I* am the adult, in the prime of life. Other people’s kids tell me I am not, that I am on my way out, and I have let life pass me by.

Looking at photos of other people’s kids is painful but I do it because I want to give back. I do it not because these kids are important to me; they are not. The person posting the photo is important to me. I do it for that person.

But the internet seemed to tear us further away from each other, in inscrutable ways we could not anticipate, name, or penetrate. The intimacy we experienced when typing into and reading content from those little boxes rarely extended beyond those little boxes.

I know Belle better than I know most of my relatives. Belle’s posts are short-story length; she has produced them without pause for over a decade. Her output rivals Charles Dickens. Her topic: her own life. She gave us virtual walking tours of her childhood home. We learned that she was not pretty, overweight, and nerdy. She married an abusive drunk. Divorced him. Yearned for a child. Later in life – and nothing is as rewarding to the reader as late-arriving joy – Belle, through the internet, found Mr. Right, a man as nerdy as she. Marriage. Pregnancy. We clapped our hands! Miscarriage. A devastating medical diagnosis. Abandonment. Belle alone again. We wept.

The strange thing is, after years of reading and responding, with all of my heart, to Belle, I met her. And she treated me as if I were a stranger. Further, when I took a break from our shared internet environment, she and I had no contact at all. No phone calls. Nothing. But when I showed up again on Belle’s internet stage, her presence was a like firehose: “Here I am! Receive me!” She, again, responded to my posts, as if we were best friends forever. She, weirdly, would type things like, “I wish I could see you.” Thing is, she had seen me. And when we were in the same room, she was distant.

That’s not intimacy. I’m not really sure what it is. I don’t think we have yet developed the word for that internet-dependent phenomenon.

I couldn’t take the politics in this internet environment. I feared that something unhealthy and invasive was distorting my spirit. I left. Wary, I didn’t join any other internet groups till Facebook, a few years ago.

***

Being a writer is like being the girl with big boobs. Men want access to the boobs. Many don’t care about the woman behind the boobs.

Sometimes people read something I have written and they feel that my words express what they themselves feel but cannot articulate. They confuse that sense of appreciating a piece of writing with love. They send me a message saying that they love me, but if they had more self-awareness what they would say is, “I love what you wrote.”

I do receive “I love what you wrote” notes from sophisticated readers. These folks address me as “Dr. Goska” and voice their recognition that we don’t know each other and never will. They request no further contact.

The people who say, “I love you” in response to my writing make unspoken demands on me. They want me to continue to voice their unarticulated thoughts. If they read, and liked, something by me that reflects a conservative point of view, they want me to continue to voice, exclusively, a conservative point of view. If I say something that they interpret as liberal, they feel betrayed and they send me hate mail, excoriating me as a “crazy” “bitch.” Always those words, spelled out or insinuated. I am a woman. I speak. I said something they don’t like. I am crazy. I am a bitch. This has happened to me more times than I can count.

No matter how many times a woman is used for her boobs, she gets hurt. No matter how many times a reader says he or she “loves” me because they appreciated something I wrote, and then turns on me because I am not what they wanted me to be – their puppet and mouthpiece – it reaffirms for me my long held conclusion that people suck, and that I don’t have the skills to triumph at that game, and that that which is good in people is as hard to access as any pearl of great price.

***

Which brings me to Dusty, Kristie, Lott, Don, Marty, Zale, Bill and Edna – some of the dozens of Facebook friends who unfriended me because I said critical things about Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign.

Kristie is an upper middle class professional. Like me, she tended to post early in the morning, so I always saw her posts first. I valued her posts because in them I encountered white supremacy such as I had never seen in real life – in fact I didn’t know it existed to that degree in real life. Kristie’s friends, upper middle class professionals like herself, posted images of black people as monkeys; they threw around the n-word as if it were the canned olives in their iceberg lettuce. My anthropological curiosity inspired me to read all of Kristie’s posts.

I made my first anti-Trump comments over a year ago. After I did so, Kristie, without informing me, unfriended me. Given the abundance, the shock value, and the early hour of her posts, I noticed the unfriending immediately. My reaction: “Well, I have one Facebook friend who gives every sign of being a white supremacist and she supports Donald Trump so much that she feels compelled to unfriend someone she never talks to and who never talks to her. Duly noted.”

Zale’s departure was harder to take. The long, slow bleed of former Trump critics crossing over to supporting Trump has been unnerving. Even Senator Ted Cruz took this walk of shame. During the Republican primaries, when they were rivals, Trump insinuated that Cruz’s father played a role in the JFK assassination. Trump called Cruz’s wife ugly and called Cruz “lying Ted.” In a breathtaking move, Cruz stood up to Trump at the July, 2016 Republican National Convention. And then, in September, Cruz caved and endorsed Trump.

Watching former Trump critics succumb to Trump reminded me of a superbly orchestrated scene from the 1956, Cold-War era science fiction classic, Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Those who have surrendered to the selfhood-erasing space pods try to convince two holdouts to give up their individuality and join the collective.

Facebook friend Zale had been right there with me on the frontlines, trying to convince Republican primary voters that Trump was, as Zale passionately argued, the menace the Founding Fathers envisioned as the potential destroyer of the Republic. In more recent days, Zale has been zealously pronouncing his own vote for Trump and the unspeakable possibility of a Hillary Clinton presidency. Zale, without telling me, unfriended me.

I had done a significant favor for Bill. I advanced his career and put money in his pocket. After I made clear that I would never vote Trump, Bill unfriended me.

Dusty and I had exchanged thousands of public and private messages. There was laughing, crying, hugging, spatting, over everything from Andrew Jackson and the Trail of Tears to comparisons of Chet Baker and Miles Davis. I am phone-phobic but when Dusty dialed my little-used number, I picked up, and did my best to entertain.

I feel I know Dusty’s father, who, like my dad, had spent time in a Catholic institution as a boy. I knew of his war-bride mother, and his brother who, like my brothers, had died young and tragically. I did not read these posts because Dusty’s family members were important to me; they are not. I read them because Dusty was important to me.

One night I logged on and found several lengthy posts by Dusty raging against me for my anti-Trump stance. He kept saying things like “You are supposed to be an ‘intelligent’ woman” With “intelligent” in scare quotes. He called me a liar. When I tried to reply, I found that he had not only unfriended me, he had blocked me.

Lott, Edna, Marty and Don had used the “l” word with me. I saved those posts: “I love you Danusha.” Lott called me his mentor – I had helped with his writing. My anti-Trump stance earned this from Lott immediately before he unfriended and blocked me: “You eat shit as if it were chocolate pudding.”

Marty’s photos of elegant dinners and travel by private boat informed me that the internet had allowed me contact with someone with whom I would never, otherwise, rub elbows. My writings critical of Islam pleased Marty. He cozied up to me. “May I call you Dannie?” I have a foreign name; I let people call me whatever approximation of it that is the least intimidating to them. Marty told me I was “smart and on the ball … just too funny.” He said – I’ve still got the post – “I love you.” After his Trump-related unfriending, I saw Marty say to Melinda, one who, like him, is anti-Hillary, “May I call you Melly?”

Edna sent me multiple private messages telling me to leave Facebook altogether, pray for guidance, and stop “bashing Trump.” If I did not, she promised me a lifetime of loneliness.

They had all praised my verbal skills when I was expressing thoughts that reflected their own. When I said something that they disagreed with – that I would not vote for Trump – my verbal skills became the very thing they hated most about me.

***

You are alone in a room behind the keyboard. You are anonymous behind a pseudonym. You will never encounter those at whom your words are directed. You conclude that you have entered a world beyond morality, because it is beyond any consequence you will ever feel.

So you bully a teenager till she kills herself. Or you immerse yourself in porn. Or you post death threats.

The nuns used to tell us that we should leave room for the Holy Spirit between ourselves and our partners when we danced. I’m never alone in a room.

I want to use old-fashioned words to talk about Dusty and Marty, Edna, Don and Lott. Words that carried great weight a century ago, before rapid transportation could remove you from the consequences of your actions. This is what you are: insincere, inconstant, disloyal, fickle, traitors. These are the kind of expired crimes our ancestors fought duels over.

You said you “loved” me. You lied. You have no idea who I am. You think a writer is a Trump. Someone who calculates how to flatter the gullible and market to fear. In fact a writer is someone so hungry for truth she will risk everything to get at it, and to express it. That, you could not love. That you labeled “crazy” and “bitch.”

Oh, and Edna. The older, Midwestern woman who had previously seemed so maternal. You condemned me to a lifetime of loneliness for speaking my mind about Trump. Edna, I’m not lonely because Trump supporters like you are no longer in my life. I’m lonely because so many people are like you. I’m lonely for a different kind of person – someone who values truth.

***

Billy Wilder’s Sabrina, Love in the Afternoon, and The Fortune Cookie let light into my rough childhood. Wilder’s Polish-Jewish mother, stepfather and grandmother were all murdered during the Holocaust. Wilder penned the script for the frothy 1941 romantic comedy Ball of Fire the same year that Nazi Hans Frank said, “I ask nothing of the Jews except that they should disappear.”

Frank Capra, director of It Happened One Night and Mr Deeds Goes to Town, struggled with depression. Watch his films often enough and you can’t help but notice how many characters attempt suicide.

The movies that gave me hope also taught me, even if only through osmosis, that life, as Louis Adamic said, is a process of “licking honey off a thorn.”

Honey: I have two Facebook friends, Sandy and Susan, with whom I agree on nothing. I am a devout Catholic; Sandy mocks my faith. Susan – I forget the word for her religion but it involves nature and folklore. We fight like cats and dogs. They have never unfriended me.

I had hoped that words, visible onscreen, would eliminate misunderstanding; that the screen itself would break down barriers. I just took a break from writing this essay and saw a Facebook message. Lyle had posted something on my wall and I had not yet responded. He was convinced that his post angered me. I have yet to read it. I had said nothing and that nothing was misunderstood.

I scroll past posts alleging that anyone who votes for Hillary Clinton – as I plan to do – is an anti-American slug.

I could unfriend. I could unfollow. I could erase people I once accepted as friends. I don’t. My reasons for not doing so are rooted in my Christianity and the Middle Ages.

Benedictine monks and nuns vow to stability. In addition to being cloistered in Spartan conditions, they inhabit the same space with the same humans for their entire careers. How else to learn the Christian skills of forgiveness, patience, and real love, except from each other’s foibles and failings? Not by erasing. Not by running. But by being next to someone who pisses the hell out of you.

If the Trump supporters posting misogynist hate-Hillary memes and inflammatory conspiracy theories have a moment of awareness, I want to be there when it happens.

As I hope they will be there for me.

***

Danusha V. Goska‘s essay “Political Paralysis” appears in the book “The Impossible Will Take a Little While.” Her memoir “Save Send Delete” tells the true story of her debate about God, and relationship, with a prominent atheist. Julie Davis named “Save Send Delete” one of the ten best books of the year. Goska outlines her reasons for not voting for Donald Trump here

Mary Biddinger and Matthew Cheney in Conversation

 

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Mary Biddinger and Matthew Cheney have both published books with Black Lawrence Press, in Mary’s case five books of poetry and in Matthew’s a collection of short stories. Both are also ensconced in academia: Mary is a professor of English at the University of Akron, where she also edits the Akron Series in Poetry, and Matthew is currently a Ph.D. candidate at the University of New Hampshire, where he studies modernist prose and its legacies.***

 

MATTHEW CHENEY: First, maybe we can start with the most important question: Do you have any pets? Dogs? Cats?

MARY BIDDINGER: Matt, this is my favorite kind of question. When at home I’m surrounded by pets: four cats, and one dog. Sure, they can be pesky (try sequencing a poetry manuscript on a hardwood floor with an overzealous tabby who wants to give her input on section breaks), but they are also a great comfort and inspiration. The cats make a particularly good audience if trying out new poems for a reading: patient, fairly stationary, unafraid to purr if a metaphor is especially dazzling. My dog, on the other hand, barks when he hears “poet voice” emanating from behind a closed door. I won’t attempt to interpret that.

CHENEY: At what point do you read your poetry aloud? How much of it for you is an oral art?

BIDDINGER: Maybe this is a poet thing, but I read my work aloud as I write, and I beg my creative writing students to do the same. Come to think of it, I do this with recommendation letters, too, but it’s different with a poem. One of the most difficult aspects of writing a poem is finding where to end, and reading aloud helps with that a lot. Sometimes you’ve already nailed your dismount from the balance beam, but you nonetheless go ahead and attempt another few handsprings because you aren’t sure. biddinger-author-photo-the-czarReading aloud also helps me craft my line breaks. It’s vital to the process.

In terms of public events, I always want to read my newest stuff and that can be a problem when I am trying to promote a book. Dear Audience, allow me to read five new poems and then remember what you came here to hear, and then shift gears, before ending with something I wrote this morning. I think as much about the arc and sequence of the poems as I do about what pieces to read. But I also tend to be spontaneous, and have been known to shuffle poems around at the podium. It’s definitely art for me, especially when I read poems with narratives that explore vulnerability on the part of the speaker.

Speaking of readings, I had the pleasure of hearing you read at the CB1 Gallery in Los Angeles during AWP 2015, and felt that experiencing your fiction aloud amplified my appreciation of your work. I’m a devout reader of fiction, but often public readings of prose fail to replicate the experience of discovery and engagement that I have with the page. What advice do you have for fellow fiction writers who are going to read their work aloud?

CHENEY: I have a theatre background, though I haven’t done any performing for a few years, so reading aloud is a way for me to indulge my performance side. But there’s also the fact that, as multiple people have told me, I write short stories as you’d probably expect a playwright to. Even if they’re not dialogue-heavy, as many are, the voice or voicescheney-author-photo-for-book in the narrative are my base. Before anything else, a story is something I hear in my head. I can’t write without an angle on the rhythms and tones of the sentences.

As for advice for writers giving readings, I always think of it as performing a role, with whatever I’m reading as the script. I’m generally quite introverted, and I have absolutely no talent for small talk. For that reason, scripts and rehearsals are things I love. I don’t have any desire to be in front of an audience as myself; in fact, I’m terrified of it. Instead, I’m there as The Writer. That’s a role I can perform.

One of the biggest problems I see even with experienced readers is that they fall into very narrow vocal patterns and rhythms. It happens to all of us. We get into a rhythm, and then stick to it, so the sound of the next sentence becomes very predictable. That’s a recipe for making an audience’s attention drift. Actors know this, and so have developed ways to counter the habit, because for most of us, you really do have to pay attention to it if you want to avoid it. Different styles of acting and theatre have different approaches, of course, but generally I’d say one of the most helpful techniques you can learn in the theatre is script analysis, which is basically close reading combined with performance notes. Mark accents, emphases, changes in voice, beat changes, etc. This will also help with developing confidence, because you’ll have this wonderful score for your reading to fall back on.

With poetry, you’ve already got something of a score in the shape of the poem on the page. As a prose writer, the things that I find most fascinating and alienating (in a good way) about poetry are line breaks and stanza shapes. I’m familiar with your most recent collections of poetry, Mary, and in each I’ve been struck by their stanzas. Beyond the individual poems, there’s a rhythm to the books as books because, for instance, you’ll have a lot of two- and three-stanza poems, then just as we readers are getting settled, there’s a poem that’s completely differently shaped. And then of course, there are the prose poems, which are different as well. I don’t really have a question here, I just have a curiosity, so I wonder if you might be able to talk about how you think and feel your way through line breaks and stanza shapes…

BIDDINGER: I’m kind of a “when in doubt, try couplets” poet, but I can say that prose poems come from a different place for me. With the conventionally lineated poems, I am often working line by line, reading aloud several times before proceeding to the next line. When writing prose poems, I am all about the momentum. I usually know that it’s going to be a prose poem by the end of the first line. However, even when writing a prose poem I try to break up the work into stanzagraphs, or prose verse paragraphs.

One tendency I have is to write poems in stanzas with one long line, and one slightly shorter line. I’m not sure why I do this, but it’s helpful as a generative device. Sometimes I switch things up and start with the shorter line, and other times I begin with the long line. I like giving myself a space to fill up. I tell my students that having some sort of form can offer structure, and use the analogy of a bunch of paired socks waiting to be stored. If you let them hang out on top of the dresser, they’ll get knocked down or mixed in with other things, but if you confine them to a tidy drawer, all the sock chaos will conform itself to that sized container. That’s exactly how I feel about stanzas. I give myself a box (of whatever shape), and then fill it again and again.

CHENEY: It strikes me that all but one of your books from Black Lawrence have images of places on their covers. One of the things that first attracted me to your work, in fact, was some ineffable feeling of, for lack of a better word, placeness in your Small Enterprise poems. Which might just be my own projection. But I wonder. Do you feel placed?

BIDDINGER: Hang on a minute, Matt. I’m going to go write about thirty new poems about the notion of being placed. What an excellent query, and something I’m not entirely aware of when writing, but I’m sure it’s among my main motivations. Growing up, my family relocated frequently, so I believe I had a sense of preemptive loss whenever I would move to a new place. Often when I’m writing a poem I wonder, is this poem addressed to a person, or to a city? I like blurring that line sometimes, as I did in my book O Holy Insurgency.

When I was a kid, one of my favorite activities was just staring out the window of a car or a train. I loved looking into windows (even if they were boarded up or broken) and imagining what secrets they held. I try to go to that place in my mind when I’m writing, and it’s always a place, not a concept or an object. It’s no surprise that I get a lot of my ideas when driving these days. It’s hard to remember them without writing them down (I am not savvy enough to record myself while on the go), but sometimes I’ll repeat something as I’m driving on the highway, half mantra, half pre-poem.

I’m so thankful for having landed in a place that’s truly right for me, after a life of moving every few years. Akron has the perfect balance of lively spirit and Midwestern grit; it’s a place where I finally feel at home.

CHENEY: I’ve had very much the opposite experience — I lived in the same house in rural New Hampshire until I went to college, and I’ve not only spent the majority of my life in New Hampshire, but in that house, since I inherited it when my father died and it’s cheaper for me to live in it than almost anywhere else right now. Without ever planning to be, I ended up very rooted. For a while, that meant I traveled a lot — Europe, Nicaragua, Mexico, Kenya, all over the U.S. — but I usually came home to the place that has most usually been home. I’m only now beginning to see how this affects my writing, and I’ve really grown weary of travel.

BIDDINGER: I entered your essay “Why I Am Not A Poet” with mild trepidation (we poets are always on the lookout for division by genre), and was thrilled to see the connection to O’Hara’s “Why I Am Not A Painter.” In the essay you said, “When I teach writing, I try to teach the students to think like poets, even if they don’t write like poets, even if they write the prosiest prose.” I’m interested in hearing about how this works with your students. What aspects of their writing are sloughed off in response to the idea of thinking like a poet? PS: This quote is amazing: “Poetry is great for my iconoclastic intentions, because even students who have had wonderful, innovative teachers of poetry in the past may still hold on to an idea that poems are things that sound like Hallmark cards and work like cryptography.”

CHENEY: Fundamentally, I try to get students to play around. We take writing so seriously! And it is serious, deadly serious, but I wouldn’t keep doing it if it weren’t also play, because there aren’t enough extrinsic rewards to make writing short stories a worthwhile activity otherwise. So I try to help students see the pleasure in the sound of language, the pleasure in playing around with form and structure. I use a lot of Gertrude Stein whenever I can — I challenge the students to try to write like her, which at first seems easy, but is actually really hard because it’s hard to give up on denotative meaning and look at the words as shapes and sounds. I encourage students to write badly, as badly as they can, because generally their idea of “bad writing” is something free and weird, something their high school English teacher would scowl at. The results can be illuminating and liberating. I also steal a lot from Lynda Barry’s books What It Is and Syllabus — for instance, I bring crayons to class and we write with them. To find what is serious about writing, we have to first get away from all the assumptions of seriousness we bring to the task. And then maybe we’ll find the real seriousness along the way.

This brings me to a question I have about teaching poetry — what do you do? How do you bring students into poetry, how do you get them thinking about it deeply, engaging with it deeply?

BIDDINGER: I tell students that I consider myself to be an ambassador for poetry, and often I find myself locating and undoing the students’ negative past experiences with poems. There are, of course, exceptions (sometimes students had a great high school teacher who exposed them to various poets, or didn’t force them to write a sonnet about autumn under duress). But generally, I try to convey to students the idea that poetry belongs to all of us; it stems from the oral tradition, and shares similarities with the music in everybody’s headphones as they’re walking across campus.

Speaking of music, I would love to hear more about your process in compiling a playlist for your short story collection Blood, which was featured at Largehearted Boy. Any playlist that kicks off with The The is a winner in my book. How is your writing influenced by music? Is it part of your process? And are there any current artists or songs that you would recommend to writers as inspiration?

CHENEY: I’m always happy to meet another The The listener! (I wrote at length about The The for Kelly Baker’s website, Cold Takes, as part of a series on music, memory, and emotion.)

I put the Largehearted Boy playlist together as a kind of pedaogical tool — I wanted to propose songs that would help readers find a way into the stories, into their tones and weirdnesses. This becomes especially important later on, because the stories toward the end of the book shift into a kind of surrealism that I’ve discovered can be really alienating to readers. So, for instance, what happens if we think of the song “I Wish I Was a Mole in the Ground” by Bascom Lamar Lunsford as a companion to the story “Walk in the Light While There Is Light”? There are few recordings I find as powerful as that song. I have no idea what the song is “about”, and yet all the brief images, those moments, somehow together add up to something overwhelmingly powerful, ineffable — an effect beyond words, despite being created by words.

If I’ve discovered anything by having this book published, its just how much some readers resist and, in fact, are angered by the weird turns a lot of my stories take. The teacher in me of course wants to fix this, to create pedagogies to make my work more pleasurable or at least accessible for readers, and the Largehearted Boy playlist is one such attempt.

You’ve had your own encounters with readers who reject the weirder moments of your work — the moments I really love in your work — and I wonder how you’ve dealt with that over the years.

BIDDINGER: Matt, I feel a “kinship of the strange” with you, and I’m so glad to talk about weird moments in our work. I’ve always been attracted to oddness in literature and music, film, art, and so on. Thankfully my parents cultivated this in me, and it was only when discussing movies or records with friends that I became aware of my non-mainstream tendencies. Something unusual about me is that I grew up watching very little television (except for the news, and of course Twin Peaks), so maybe that time spent reading Camus and listening to Laibach had an effect.

When I started taking creative writing classes as an undergraduate at the University of Michigan, my strangeness set me apart without alienating me from classmates and professors. Looking back, in some instances they were very forgiving of my overt weirdness, but the most important thing that they did was support me even it my poems made “no sense.” Later, in graduate programs, I encountered more peers and professors who would call me out on the strange. I became self conscious. Sometimes I would write a fake poem to bring to workshop, an accessible narrative with crowd-pleasing concrete details, rather than the weird thing I was working on at home and keeping to myself.

I struggled with this until my first book came out, and then I purged myself of all those voices that said things like This poem needs a topic sentence, or I just don’t get it. I think that’s one advantage of writing beyond a writing program. You finally come into your own, and become responsible for making your own decisions. Allowing myself to return to my strange roots was liberating, and I was glad to be able to truly surprise myself in my work again.

CHENEY: How have those experiences as a student shaped your own pedagogy? What do you do with the weird writers?

BIDDINGER: I try to be an advocate for my student writers who write the weird. First I share with them the work of fellow writers of the strange. Next we talk about reaching audiences and making them feel, without compromising the experiments of the poem. Often all readers need is a sense of setting, or a feeling of kinship with a speaker, and then they are able to make the necessary leaps. I am also very open about my own struggles as a writer, including workshop experiences where a weird poem was a huge flop, and I think this helps create a dialogue. Finally, I try to get all of my students to at least dabble in strangeness, whether it’s writing a poem without a linear narrative, or really pushing imagery into surreal territory. Even if the writers don’t continue their trajectories of weirdness, they nonetheless have a new appreciation for it as a craft decision.

CHENEY:  In the introduction to The Monkey and the Wrench: Essays into Contemporary Poetics, which you edited with John Gallaher, you write that you sought out essays “that are investigating poetry and the situation of poetry as something important, with something at stake.” It’s now more than five years since you put that book together, and I wonder how you see the importance of poetry — your own or others’ — now. What’s at stake these days for poetry and the situation of poetry?

BIDDINGER: Something that has struck me lately is how we’ve created better access to poems about social justice. This, of course, is due to necessity. But I believe we are in a moment where people are finding that they need poems, and perhaps those people aren’t ordinarily poetry readers. Thinking about poems like Maggie Smith’s “Good Bones,” or Ross Gay’s “A Small Needful Fact,” both of which I have shared with friends and students, and how they have been passed around so often lately to the point of becoming “viral,” suggests an increased demand for poetry of this nature. A new readership is seeking poems about racial injustice, about the struggle for LGBTQ rights, about economic disparities, and my hope is that this will further make a case for poetry’s relevance, and for its ability to articulate truths about the human condition in a way that only poetry can.

Responding to this question makes me wonder if you, too, have a report from the field. Have you noticed recent changes in the world of fiction, or any noteworthy trends?

CHENEY: I don’t keep up with contemporary fiction as much as I used to because I’ve got this whole Ph.D. thing going on that keeps me reading piles of stuff in very specific areas, leaving little time or, more importantly, brain capacity for other reading. At this point, I could tell you more about what was going on with 1930s British fiction than current U.S. fiction. But of course, even somebody who only reads occasionally in new work would notice a couple of trends, particularly the popularity of dystopian writing and the growing shelves of a certain type of eco-conscious writing, writing that is somehow grappling with what some philosophers and scientists have come to call the anthropocene. Roy Scranton’s New York Times essay (and later book) “Learning How to Die in the Anthropocene” is one entry into this idea. Jeff VanderMeer’s recent books are the most interesting fictional exploration of these concepts that I know. (Some people have taken to calling such stuff cli-fi, a term I deeply dislike because it sounds really silly, and I don’t think a term for basically the most important global issue facing us should sound silly. Anthropocene is an ugly word, but not silly, and ugliness is appropriate to the horrors the future holds for life on this planet.)

Maybe writers tend to be especially attracted to doom and gloom by temperament, and certainly it’s true that the world has always been ending, that apocalypticism is as close to a historical universal as anything is … but given the state of the world economy, with a tiny number of people controlling the majority of the world’s wealth; and given the tenacity of racism and sexism and nationalism all the other awful -isms that plague us; and given the state of the world’s ecology, which is wracked and wrecked by ever more chaos, destruction, disaster, misery, and extinction — given all this, it’s not entirely a surprise that writers are drawn to gloomy and doomy ideas. A lot, and maybe even most, of what gets written about this stuff in novels and stories is kitsch, with, it seems to me, an underlying agenda to make us feel better, but it’s hard to sell work that doesn’t to some extent or another try to flatter the reader. Maybe kitsch is better than nothing.

And I may be too pessimistic, too resigned, myself, to doom. Maybe that’s why I’m so drawn to literature from between the two world wars: with those writings, at least, we know what happened next, and we know who was accurate in their ideas, and who was too optimistic, and who was just full of themselves.

At a reading recently, I said that though I’ve tried to write science fiction, especially when I was younger, I’ve never succeeded at writing what I think of as actual science fiction — as opposed to a story like “Expositions” that uses science fictional tropes for non-science-fictional purposes — because to write science fiction, one must believe in the future, and I don’t. (The audience laughed. I laughed. What else could we do?)

Perhaps we should finish with something lighter. One of the things, actually, I like about your poetry is that it is often infused and enlivened with moments of lightness, sometimes absurd, sometimes touching, sometimes both. Do you have a favorite poem of lightness, or a poem that lightens you? (For me, it’s Olena Kalytiak Davis’s “sweet reader, flanneled and tulled”, which I can read at any time  — preferably aloud — and feel better. I’ve been known occasionally, even randomly, to just blurt out: “And I, Reader, I am but the daughter/ of a tinker.”)

BIDDINGER: Oh, that is a magnificent poem by OKD! And thanks so much for picking up on the humor in my poems. It’s always the worst when I read something that’s intended to be comical, and audiences look at me like I’m trying to be depressing or poignant or something other than funny. So much of my poetry comes from misunderstandings, typos, overheard and misheard phrases, and other potentially comical things. Humor is really at the heart of my work.

When I’m looking for a poem to fill me with lightness, or humorous joy, or to remind me of poetry’s performative properties, I turn to Matthew Guenette, who manages to be hilarious while also making a powerful social commentary. I offer you a video of Guenette reading his poem “Sestina Aguilera” here at the University of Akron. The quality isn’t great, because it was taken back before smart phone video, and because we couldn’t stop laughing. Wordplay, popular culture, improvisation, and humor come together in this performance, which is a joy to share.

SATURDAY POETRY SERIES PRESENTS: SARAH SARAI

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REMORSE
By Sarah Sarai

When he lumbered in the way of men
who use their hands to till earth,
he knocked rough doorway
to sob at unfairness and
the slaying. Dull, trembling,
he threw down three pelts against
a desert night, and feared heaven’s
white stars. We’ve all killed our brother.
The dead roam through us.
We toss beneath old gods’ blazing navigation.
Cain? It’s morning. He bites a sweet seedy fig.



Today’s poem originally appeared in the Terrain.org and appears here today with permission from the poet.


Sarah Sarai’s second collection, Geographies of Soul and Taffeta, was published this year by Indolent Books. Poet Melissa Studdard called Sarai’s first collection, The Future Is Happy, “a poetry of luminous, brave transparency” (American Book Review). Journals include Painted Bride Quarterly, Barrow Street, The Collagist, Boston Review, Threepenny Review, Ascent. After teaching English at a Catholic girls’ school in Los Angeles, Sarai received an NEH fellowship and used extra monies to move to Seattle where she began writing poetry. She has been Lecturer in comp and lit, editor-in-chief, file clerk for warrant officers, and, currently, freelance editor in poetry, fiction, and pharmaceutical advertising. Sarai has an MFA in fiction from Sarah Lawrence College. A native of Long Island, she lives in Manhattan.

Editor’s Note: Today’s poem is a vivid and moving reflection upon the slaying of Cain by his brother Able. The Bible’s first brothers, and already one slays the other. But then, as the poet points out, “We’ve all killed our brother.” And while “The dead roam through us,” life–and the poem–insists that we go on. For although in the night Cain “threw down three pelts against / a desert night, and feared heaven’s // white stars,” in the morning light life looks sweeter, even for the damned.

Want to see more from Sarah Sarai?
Geographies of Soul and Taffeta
Poems in Posit
Poem in The Collagist
Poem in Ascent
Poems in Yew

“Languages” by David Ishaya Osu

ishaya

Languages

i do not chew fruits
that i cannot pronounce

garden

whoever made

my body, first
drank a moon

revival

it is open & close
to fire, it will body
along midnight’s
circles—next
time you will
cry, she replied

material

it is written on bodies
that clocks will
not age nor
listen

flying

& shadows
in the attic
are sisters

because

sleeping
changes every
body from
lines to
a quiet family

***

David Ishaya Osu (b. 1991) is an Afo native from Onda. His poetry appears in: Vinyl, Chiron Review, Cutbank, The Lampeter Review, The Nottingham Review, Spillway, Juked, RædLeaf Poetry: The African Diaspora Folio, A Thousand Voices Rising: An Anthology of Contemporary African Poetry, among others. David is a board member of the Babishai Niwe Poetry Foundation, and was selected for the 2016 USA Callaloo Creative Writing Workshop. He was poetry editor for The James Franco Review. David is currently polishing his debut poetry book.

[The above poem originally appeared in Numero Cinq and is reprinted here with permission of the author.]

SATURDAY POETRY SERIES PRESENTS: SANDRA L. FAULKNER

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THE INTERVIEW
By Sandra L. Faulkner

for Sylvia Plath (after “The Applicant”)

Can you separate lights from darks,
gabardine from linen?
Too much bother? I cannot care

if your hands are
warm like Georgia hot springs
capable of sparing my feet

the Sisyphean walk over broken
crayons and wine glasses,
the laundry room of dog and dust.

Do you know how to make coffee,
float a river of cream
in my capacious cup?

Forget the sugar and call
my name with an accent auf Deutsch?
But speak only ein bisschen,

patch the noise of domestic bliss
with a steady pour and two clinks of ice.
Will you wait for the repairs,

bury the hamster with the holey
blanket, behind the dying Holly?
Never mind if you dig too shallow,
I want a wife, too.

 

Today’s poem originally appeared in the Pine Hills Review and appears here today with permission from the poet.

 

Sandra L. Faulkner is Professor of Communication at BGSU. Her poetry appears in places such as Gravel, Literary Mama, Rat’s Ass Review, and damselfly. She authored three chapbooks, Hello Kitty Goes to College (dancing girl press, 2012), Knit Four, Make One (Kattywompus, 2015), and Postkarten aus Deutschland. Sense published her memoir in poetry, Knit Four, Frog One (2014). She researches, teaches, and writes about relationships in NW Ohio where she lives with her partner, their warrior girl, a hamster, and two rescue mutts.

 

Editor’s Note: Today’s poem invites us in for coffee and contemplation. Welcomes us to a life–a real life replete with a “walk over broken / crayons and wine glasses, / the laundry room of dog and dust.” Lets us in on the secret desires and realities of the speaker, that a “steady pour and two clinks of ice” and a willingness to “wait for the repairs” trumps–or perhaps is–domestic bliss. Imperfection is expected–welcome, even–in this refreshingly honest portrayal of an interview for the role of wife.

 

Want to see more from Sandra L. Faulkner?
Carpe Noctum Chapbook Interview
A collection of Sandra L Faulkner’s work via Bowling Green State University
Buy Family Stories, Poetry, and Women’s Work: Knit Four, Frog One from Sense Publishers
Buy Writing the Personal: Getting Your Stories onto the Page from Sense Publishers
Buy Knit Four, Make One from Kattywompus Press
Buy Hello Kitty Goes to College from dancing girl press

A Review of Mary McMyne’s Wolf Skin

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A Review of Mary McMyne’s Wolf Skin

By Jennifer Dane Clements

We remember best that which haunts us. The memories or fears that we carry, percolate in our bloodstreams. As children, the unknown and unknowable facets of the world succumb to dreamscapes of mythical proportions, allowing us to be haunted by things ordinary and alive: the toothy jags of a broken window, an attic portrait with a traveling gaze, the gnarled witch and her warty moral to the story. As children, we await their instruction, understanding that which haunts us to have a strange and beguiling power.

It is with this in mind that Mary McMyne frames Wolf Skin, a chapbook of poems from the voice of a woman whose own childhood was steeped in the twists and vines of the old German fairy tales. Now, grown, the echoes of the tales return to her as commentary to her daily life and reminders from long ago.

The most harrowing of these echoes advises the woman to “Be not girl . . . but wolf.” Those who do not become wolves, speaks the memory of her mother, are little more than dolls, “dumb as porcelain.” As though one’s evolution through personhood is a journey built on unpleasant binaries: vicious or inert, brave or in need of rescue.

In the titular poem, we come to understand the huntsman from “Little Red Riding Hood” embellished his tale of heroism from something more closely approximating a sad act of butchery, his liberated victims still reeling from shock and too disoriented to mutter more than a few words. There were no great thanks or praise, no ceremonies, and the trophy he claimed to have taken from his heroic deed. The “wolf skin” of the poem and of the collection’s title speaks to the assumed persona, the larger-than-life fiction we cloak ourselves in to satisfy some notion of bravery, of gender, of morality.

Childhoods are fascinated with dark spaces and mystery, and lean with curiosity towards danger. In McMyne’s retelling of these familiar tales, we’re reminded of the darker themes lurking behind characters we’ve come to associate with youthful innocence: death, isolation, pain. And so we encounter the wolf lurking at the doorstep where a girl laps at her popsicle, the prince who’s been cursed to live as a hedgehog, the pregnant and yearning princess captive in her tower.

Indeed these reminders often deal in fierceness–how it can be assumed or appropriated, how growth and heroism seem intertwined. And, perhaps most importantly, how these values and lessons transcend and permeate into our time, today, where still we find what’s necessary at odds with what makes for a compelling hero’s tale.

The collection begins and ends with the image of a moth, from the mother’s collection, perfect and asphyxiated, pinned to a corkboard. As an expression of both the fairy tales she illustrates and of the book itself, this image carries acute resonance: delicate, inquisitive, and a tinge darker than people might expect.

Mary McMyne, Wolf Skin. Dancing Girl Press, 2014: $7.00

***

Jennifer Clements is a writer of all sorts based in Washington, D.C. Her work has been featured in publications including Barrelhouse, Hippocampus, WordRiot, Psychopomp, and on stages in DC and New York. She is a prose editor of ink&coda and writes regularly for Luna Luna Magazine and DC Theatre Scene. She holds an MFA in creative writing from George Mason University. Visit her online at www.jennifer-dane-clements.com.

Hala Alyan and Elizabeth Cantwell: A Conversation

alyan
Hala Alyan

HA: Elizabeth, I have to start by saying how much I enjoyed this collection. I’m so curious about the process of writing it. Did you start off with a particular image that later shaped the collection? I ask because the repetition of dreamscapes was haunting and contributed to the book as a whole having an otherworldly quality.

EC: Thanks so much, Hala! I’m glad you asked about this – you’re absolutely right that the repetition of the dream world came from a specific image/experience. When I was in elementary school, I began having a recurring dream – the one outlined in various iterations in the book – that really haunted me for a lot of reasons. In the dream, my little brother and I were outside, having a picnic, and he’d always ask me for something — another half a sandwich, some more lemonade, a napkin, something that got me to stand up and walk away from the picnic blanket. And I’d be walking away, getting him this thing he needed, and I’d turn back and see some sort of small animal crawling over to him through the grass. A kitten or a fawn or a puppy or a small chick. And he’d get this huge smile on his face — I think I started having this dream when I was about 10 years old, which would make him 6 or so. And I’d just know in that dream second that something was very wrong. This is also about the part in the dream where I’d become aware that I’d had this dream before and it was happening again. I’d start running back towards the picnic blanket, to tell him not to touch the animal, it was a trap, but it was always too late, and before I could get there the tiny cute thing would transform into a tiger, snatch him up in its jaws, and take him away. And I’d be running after them, that slow awful impossible run you do in dreams, and I’d know I couldn’t save him, and I’d wake up, out of breath, having failed yet again.

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Elizabeth Cantwell

Later in life, when my brother began struggling with drugs, alcohol, and a series of stints in jail, the dream came back to me, and seemed somehow prophetic or real or upsetting on a new level, and I knew I had to write about it.

Your book, too, has a lot of dreams in it — and I wonder, because I so clearly had a concrete dream I was playing with — are the dreams you talk about in your book real, or do you sometimes invent dreams for the sake of the device of having a dream? I’ve definitely done both, in the past — I’d love to hear more about where those dreams in Four Cities came from, or just what the device of the dream means to you.

HA: Oh, wow. That is such a poignant and heartbreaking image to have had to return to nightly. Yes, there’s something prophetic about it, and also something tragic in how you were doomed to forget each time, doomed to have it happen all over again.

I’m so fascinated with dreamwork, in life and in art, and I find that many of my poems actually begin with a certain image or symbol that first came to me in a dream. I’ve certainly played around with dreamscapes in writing, sometimes recreating them faithfully, sometimes inventing them entirely. In Four Cities, the dreams I allude to were real. I go through periods of my life, depending on what is happening in my waking world, where I will dream lucidly and, more importantly, remember my dreams very vividly. While writing FC, this was a period of time when I was dreaming very intensely, carrying those dreams around with me daily.

With the collection I’m working on now, a very similar thing has been happening. For the past year, I’ve been remembering my dreams in very intense detail almost every night. And so snippets of them have reappeared in my recent poems, sometimes without me even realizing it’s happening. While it’s not the same dream in different iterations, as in your case, they are often the same themes and images: of drowning, of not saving the ones I love, of new cities that I have to explore on my own.

Has the dream stopped or changed since you wrote the collection? And what was it like to write about something so distressing, so elusive?

EC: Well, that specific recurring dream stopped in early middle school, so I haven’t had it since — if anything, I was surprised to find it bubble back up in my memory when I began to deal with my brother’s problems as an adult. As for what it’s like to write about something distressing and elusive — isn’t that what all writers do, all the time? We’re all obsessed with our own obsessions, writing to purge some elemental horror from our deepest selves that is, in the end, never completely rooted out. Even the poets whose work on the surface seems incredibly calm and self-assured and placid — I’m thinking of Merwin, maybe — once you dig in, it starts to become obvious that there are terrible repetitions and anxieties and dark rooms hovering underneath.

You talked about lucid dreaming, and how that seems to be something important in your writing process sometimes. I definitely had the sense of the kind of surrealism that comes with the not-dream-not-awake state in a lot of your poems. But you ground that surreal dream state so clearly in place. In “After Thunderstorms in Oklahoma,” which I love, you have the reader set clearly in one place (Oklahoma), which then morphs into a memory from another place (Ramallah), which then becomes a surreal forest and the space of dreaming … How did you deal with the ways place can be both fluid and concrete in a collection of poems that so clearly relies on place for structure?

HA: I love that description of the “dark rooms” that hover within. It’s so accurate. Yes, I think a lot of my work plays with that space between reality and surrealism, particularly because I’m so fascinated with how that space intersects with one’s sense of self. I think physical place (i.e. cities) play such a prominent role precisely because place, in my experience, is both fluid and concrete. In titling the collection Four Cities, I was aware that, in reality, I was actually encountering dozens and, of those dozens, each one was further quartered and slivered because I feel like I have many versions of every city I’ve loved within me: there’s the streets, the physical scents and sounds, but also the different selves I wanted to be (or discarded) in those cities, not to mention the ways I recreate those cities in memory and in dream. So I think that I dealt with that messy contradiction of fluidity versus concreteness by allowing it to exist, rather than trying to tidy it up.

There are certain images that flitted throughout your collection: those of fire, creatures, water, doors. One of the things I enjoyed about the book was how you were able to return to the same elements without it ever feeling tired or repetitive. It was always with a renewed vigor, what felt like a fresh pair of eyes. Could you speak a little about that?

EC: Oh man, the former selves. So many of them, strewn all over. That makes me think of your poem “Push,” which I read a couple different ways – both as a conversation between cities, and as a conversation between different versions of the self in those cities.

And yes! Images. I’m so glad to hear they didn’t feel tired or repetitive. I do think that’s a very real danger of writing a book inspired by a recurring dream — by the end of the book there’s a risk that the readers are going to be like “Okay, seriously, we’re doing the tiger thing again?” I don’t know if I had a real strategy to keep things from feeling redundant other than trying to be true to the feeling of the recurring dream, of déjà vu — you know you’ve had this experience before, but because you know that, the whole thing feels weirder and more unsettling, not ho-hum.

The thing I noticed almost right away in your collection, as far as images go, is that your poems are very busy. You’ve packed them full of objects, things, adjectives. They feel very dense that way. Image density is something that scares me sometimes, but you pull it off really well–how did you find yourself navigating that as you wrote?

HA: What a perfect way to describe it: how the feeling of déjà vu only makes you more unsettled.

alyan_final-250x386I’m an adjective addict. I’m like a cook who oversalts every meal! When I gave my first proper piece of fiction to a writer friend of mine, she said, “Cut most of your adjectives and adverbs. Then cut some more.” In fiction, I think that sort of language can easily stifle the reader, but in poetry it feels more allowed somehow, more forgivable. It’s one of the things I love the most about poetry, how you can take a single tiny thing—a moment, an object, the arch of a lover’s eyebrow—and meditate on it.

I think how I write is very much a reflection of how I think; my mind is always in a state of buzzing, trying to consider every possible angle and incarnation of a thing, always making room for more. My poetry ends up dripping with images. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. I think in the past year or so, I’ve tried to see what kind of poetry I can produce with a more minimalist approach to language. It’s been quite a challenging, if at times rewarding, experiment.

My favorite line in you book (my heart!) was: “I’m always opening the door to the same threat/over and over/and every time it looks like love.” It stunned me. So honest, so raw. It got me thinking about the different ways we love and lose, and of course about the way something that appears to be love in the recurring dream (deer, rabbit, etc) ends up being a threat (tiger). Can you speak a little bit more about this idea? Did you intend for it to have so many different meanings?

EC: I feel like we should switch brains for a day in a sort of poetic Freaky Friday. I tend to be extremely wary of adjectives and I try to use only the most minimal and obvious and simple adjectives in my poems … But I really admire poets whose poetry encompasses a wider range of vocabulary and does so while sounding authentic. I would love to stay simple but also get better at describing images. It’s hard. I agree that the idea of meditating on a single moment is what’s alluring about poetry, but the closer I get to something the harder it is, for me, to accurately pin it down with words.

Which maybe speaks to that line you’ve pulled—the more starkly face-to-face with something I am, the easier it is to fail to see it for what it is. As far as what I intended thecantwell-cover5-250x386 line to mean—I actually remember writing that whole poem very quickly without thinking too hard about it, like walking really fast out into the ocean before your brain can tell your body it’s too cold and you have to stop. I try not to mean anything when I write. The poems I draft when I’m trying to mean something feel horrible and cliché and labored. But I can feel it—after the fact—when I’ve written something that’s managed to mean a lot of things successfully.

Don’t you think, in addition to those ideas about loving and losing, or loving the wrong things, that love itself is a threat, even the truest love? There is absolutely nothing more terrifying than the vulnerability you have to take on in order to really love someone. Nothing.

HA: Yes, yes, yes to poetic Freaky Friday! It’s interesting to me that what we’re essentially talking about is restraint: of self, of language, of self-censorship. I resonate with that idea of stepping into the ocean quickly before your mind can stop you. I feel like that’s what writing is for me in general, always trying to stay ahead of myself, or rather the smart-alecky part of myself that likes to clear her throat and say, “Well, actually, that’s a bit trite, isn’t it?”

I completely agree and would add that the truest love is often the biggest threat. To love is to yourself in something else, even if it’s just the tiniest inch of yourself, and that’s always daunting. Writing about love—as authentic and pure as it might be—is equally scary, because you are simultaneously witnessing and making witness out of the world, putting that process on display. I think there’s something remarkably brave about it, particularly when we’re talking about loving the wrong things.

My final question is about what comes next. What are you working on these days, what’s been effortless about it, what’s been particularly tricky?

EC: That’s a great question! I’ve actually been working today on a document currently titled “new manuscript” so … I guess I’m working on a new manuscript? I’m not really sure what it is yet, but it’s something. I think it’s about halfway done. Maybe not quite.

The things I’ve been writing in the past year or so haven’t been as united in theme as Nights I Let The Tiger Get You — I think that manuscript is really almost a story, and is certainly something you can read chronologically and get a cumulative understanding from. I’m doing more standalone poems right now, rather than working on a more project-oriented manuscript — you know, those manuscripts where it’s like “Every poem is title after a fast food meal!” or “It’s one poem for every day in 1943, but told through the eyes of a dying cow!” I kind of wish I were more project-oriented right now, because in a way that makes your task easier, but I just haven’t had the ability to make myself buy into a uniting theme yet. I bet if someone else were to read these poems, they would immediately identify a few obvious threads tying everything together, and probably I will eventually give all of them to someone I trust and make them tell me what I’ve actually written. But at the moment I’m just writing what I want to write.

What’s been effortless about it? Um, nothing? DO YOU WRITE EFFORTLESSLY? Give me the secret!

I am mostly joking … I guess I do, as I mentioned above, find it effortless to write a poem once I’m in the right headspace and can kind of just open myself up to whatever is going to happen on the page. But, mostly, this “book” (if I can even call it that yet) has felt a lot harder to work towards than Nights. Finding the time and space to get into the poetry mindset feels nearly impossible. I’m not in grad school anymore, I don’t have a stipend expressly for the purpose of writing poems, I have a full-time job that frequently requires night and weekend commitments, a 3-year-old who is currently crawling precariously on the couch behind my shoulders and shooting a Kylo Ren Hot Wheels car across the windowsill … My life is really full of a lot of wonderful beautiful things that have nothing to do with words. And that’s been the challenge and the inspiration for me lately—finding ways to shape this weird and boring and mundane and transcendent life into poetry even when everything about it resists poetry.

What about you? What’s next on your plate?

HA: Okay, I laughed aloud at It’s one poem for every day in 1943, but told through the eyes of a dying cow. Well, whatever form your New Manuscript winds up taking, I’m eager to read it. It sounds like these new poems are taking root in rich, evolving, honest soil, and that’s always a refreshing thing (as a reader; it’s hard as a writer, I know).

I’m working on a collection very tentatively titled “The Twenty-Ninth Year,” which is about, well, my twenty-ninth year. I turned thirty in July, and the year leading up to it was such a strange and difficult and marvelous one. Of all I’ve written, these new poems are probably the most easily “traceable” to me, in that I basically turned myself into a subject of study, and am trying to do it as authentically and unflinchingly as possible. Sometimes, it’s nothing short of impossible. Sometimes, it’s healing and good and I feel cleaner after the poem. We’ll see what the manuscript as a whole looks like, once I start stitching it together. That’s usually my favorite part.

This has been so wonderful, Elizabeth! I can’t wait for your new book. Thanks for letting me into your (lovely) mind.

***

Elizabeth Cantwell a high school teacher and poet living in Claremont, California. Her first book of poems, Nights I Let the Tiger Get You (Black Lawrence Press, 2014), was a runner-up for the 2012 Hudson Prize; she is also the author of a chapbook, Premonitions (Grey Book Press, 2014). Her work has recently been published or is forthcoming in such journals as The Los Angeles Review, PANK, The Cincinnati Review, and Hobart.

Hala Alyan is a Palestinian American poet and clinical psychologist whose work has appeared in numerous journals including The Missouri Review, Prairie Schooner and Columbia Poetry Review. Her poetry collection Atrium (Three Rooms Press) was awarded the 2013 Arab American Book Award in Poetry. Four Cities, her second collection, was recently released by Black Lawrence Press. Her latest collection, Hijra, was selected as a winner of the 2015 Crab Orchard Series in Poetry and was published by Southern Illinois University Press in 2016.

SATURDAY POETRY SERIES PRESENTS: A ROSH HASHANAH POEM BY SARAH MARCUS

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By Sarah Marcus:


ROSH HASHANAH, 5774

The moon was a sliver of itself
the first night I thought of you
combing a new year’s honey
through our hair.

We are taught to repent, but
it’s a poor translation,
for Teshuvah is to return
to ourselves,
to come back to who we really are,
to return
to an original state

where we have nothing
but possibility laid before us.

And it is written
as everything will be:

someone’s grandmother’s hands
smelling of cinnamon and clove,
a testament to a world
created as an expression
of limitless love,
of refinement.

The Rabbi says that when you share your words
you are sharing a part of your soul. Each moment
has the potential to be deeply spiritual, my children,
stand in the hugeness of it all.

Autumn has lingered years
for your arrival,
each leaf turned
in anticipation,
even the branches
held their breath

              waiting for us to ask the right questions,
                      for us to stop looking to the sky.



Today’s poem originally appeared in the Green Briar Review and appears here today with permission from the poet.


Sarah Marcus is the author of Nothing Good Ever Happens After Midnight (2016, GTK Press) and the chapbooks BACKCOUNTRY (2013) and Every Bird, To You (2013). Her next book, They Were Bears, is forthcoming from Sundress Publications in 2017. She is an editor at Gazing Grain Press, a spirited VIDA: Women in Literary Arts volunteer, and the Series Editor for As Is Ought To Be’s High School Poetry Series: Gender, Identity, & Race. Find her at sarahannmarcus.com.

Editor’s Note: But this is so much more than a Rosh Hashanah poem. This is a poem of the sacred and the secular. Of belief and being. Of awareness and action. This is the moment when memory becomes contemplation, when contemplation becomes questioning, when questioning demands more from us. Yes, this poem is stunning in its imagery and lyric. Yes, it is evocative and moving. Yes it is visceral and philosophical and spiritual. But it is so much more than that. For while “we have nothing / but possibility laid before us,” the very leaves hold their breath “waiting for us to ask the right questions, // for us to stop looking to the sky.”

Shanah Tovah u’Metukah to you, the faithful readers of this series. May the new year be sweet, and may you be the change you want to see in the world.

Want to see more from Sarah Marcus?
Spork Press
Booth
Nashville Review
The EstablishmentHuffington Post

SATURDAY POETRY SERIES PRESENTS: ABRIANA JETTÉ


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LIES OUR MOTHER TOLD US
By Abriana Jetté


I do not believe in the story of the virgin
but in the value of the human: the body —

because no matter what you were told
that soul is not yours. But the body,

the body is yours. The slight round
of the breast like the sun or the depth of your

toes to your crown: these are the ways
we measure ourselves. I do not want to

believe she was a vehicle. Tell me
there was pleasure; there were moans.

Tell me when she was fully grown
she remembered a wave a release an ecstasy

that entered her, that she could feel it in her
teeth. Motherhood means you are no longer

maiden but Queen. Tell me the story of the one
who smiled at the rustling of her sheets.



Today’s poem was published in the The Journal for Compressed Creative Arts, Spring 2015, and appears here today with permission from the poet.


Abriana Jetté: Born and raised in Brooklyn, New York Abriana Jetté is an internationally published poet and essayist and educator. Her anthology 50 Whispers: Poems by Extraordinary Women debuted as a #1 best seller on Amazon, and her work has appeared or is forthcoming in The Seneca Review, River Teeth, Barrelhouse, The Moth, and many other places. She teaches for St. John’s University, for the College of Staten Island, and for the nonprofit organization Sponsors for Educational Opportunity.

Editor’s Note: And then there was the poet who reimagined the Virgin Mary. Not as virgin, but as human, as woman, capable of “a wave a release an ecstasy // that entered her, that she could feel it in her / teeth.” Advocating for agency, the poet insisted, “I do not want to // believe she was a vehicle.” Reverent of the woman’s transformation, she taught us that “Motherhood means you are no longer // maiden but Queen.” And we saw her as the poet saw her. And it was good.

Want to see more from Abriana Jetté?
Hermeneutic Chaos Journal
Truthdig
Abriana Jetté’s Official Website
Stay Thirsty Publishing
Barrelhouse Mag