Victoria Melekian: “Who Dreams Up This Stuff”

Who Dreams Up This Stuff

Broken pull tabs, easy-open bottles that aren’t,
having more hot dogs than buns. There must be

a Supreme Being of Frustration who dreams up this stuff.
A deity who creates SUV’s and small parking spaces,

smoke alarms that die in the dark of night.
An entity responsible for plastic packaging that slices fingers,

and tab A that does not, by the way, fit into slot B.
Maybe an ad hoc committee, the same people who serve

on HOA boards policing patios, ensuring no plant matter
touches wood or stucco. They wrote the “i” before “e”

except after “c” rule and perfected the odds of a car battery
failing three days out of warranty. They’ve moved over

to the customer support phone line. You can hear them now:
“Please hang on. Your call is very important to us.”

About the Author: Victoria Melekian lives in Carlsbad, California. Her stories and poems have been published in print and online anthologies. She’s twice been nominated for a Pushcart Prize. For more, visit her website:


Image Credit: John Vachon “Cream cans. Antigo, Wisconsin” (1941) Public domain image courtesy of the Library of Congress