We watch this show
where dogs compete in a series of things
to see who is America’s Top Dog.
First, through a timed obstacle track
where the slowest timed dog and handler team
Then through a scent challenge
where they have to sniff out drugs or explosives.
The two slowest times are eliminated.
Lastly, the two remaining teams compete
through another obstacle course
to see who can do it in the fastest time.
The winner gets to go into the Chewy Circle.
Have bragging rights and $5000 dollars donated
to the charity of their choice.
The winner tonight wore these blue pair of doggles
over his eyes.
Even though he was afraid to go in the water.
It was a straight fashion thing with this one,
you could tell.
His doggles made him feel sexy.
Beating out all the other police dogs
and one civilian trained entry.
So he could bark proudly from the Chewy Circle
in his bright blue doggles.
As Curt Menefee wondered how the hell he
ever got roped into doing this gig.
And the studio audience
About the Author: Ryan Quinn Flanagan is a Canadian-born author residing in Elliot Lake, Ontario, Canada with his wife and many mounds of snow. His work can be found both in print and online in such places as: Evergreen Review, As It Ought To Be Magazine The New York Quarterly, Cultural Weekly, In Between Hangovers, Red Fez, and The Oklahoma Review.
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Image Credit: Henry Pointer: “Touch this if you dare [little dog guarding a cup]” (1870) Digital image courtesy of the Getty’s Open Content Program.