Andreas Economakis

Mean

by Andreas Economakis

I’m mean.
I drop-kicked one stray cat,
flipped off a dozen motorists in one ride,
busted the tailight of a car,
left garbage at the end of the Kalalau trail,
pissed on the door of a 600 Benz.
laughed about it,
nearly got beat up because of it,
I broke a dozen good hearts,
lied when I was cornered,
stole a few dirty magazines,
buried them in odd places,
didn’t call my mom up for a decade,
ignored one important phone call,
tried to bury my head in the sand.

That stray cat sure deserved it.
He bit the shit out of my finger.

–Andreas Economakis

This piece is an attempt at poetry and part of a collection of words on blindness entitled: The Blindness of Life. The author is not a poet.

Copyright © 2011, Andreas Economakis. All rights reserved.

For more stories by Andreas Economakis click on the author’s name below.

SATURDAY POETRY SERIES PRESENTS: BILL RECTOR

BLACK BAG
by Bill Rector

Where, William Carlos Williams,
are your patients?

How in the world, the words,
did you escape

them? Erase
them? In

stanzas succinct
as prescriptions

wouldn’t a few
more fit? Between curved

blades of obstetric
forceps, the book of birth

and death certificates?
White as the door

are they still
there? Waiting

on the heart’s rapid knock,
the hoped-for answer?

Why is your first name
also your last?


(Today’s poem previously appeared in The Offending Adam and appears here today with permission from the poet.)


Bill Rector is a physician practicing in Denver whose poetry has been published in a variety of journals, including Field, Prairie Schooner, The Denver Quarterly, and Hotel Amerika. His book, bill, was published in 2006 by Proem Press.

Editor’s Note: Today’s post is dedicated to Jenny Stella, who, like Dr. Rector and William Carlos Williams, shares her life with both poetry and medicine. Having been at once a poet and a lawyer, I understand what it is to live a life that is both shared and divided in this way. Jenny Stella and I have spent many hours contemplating what it means to inhabit two demanding arenas in life; how an artist can give themselves fully to a professional practice, and how a professional can give enough of themselves to their art. What today’s poem explores is where the medicine itself shows, or does not show, its face in poetry.

Want to see more by and about Bill Rector?
Proem Press
Bill Rector is Poetry Editor of The Yale Journal for Humanities in Medicine
Buy Bill Rector’s book, bill

SATURDAY POETRY SERIES PRESENTS: JILLIAN WEISE


HERE IS THE ANGER ANDREW ASKED FOR*
by Jillian Weise

when he gave me the latest issue of P-Queue.
“I want the poems where you’re angry,”

he said. I read the magazine and I can tell
I’m not his type. What a luxury it must be

to not need sense. It must be like you already
have your civil rights and at least one friend

to call when your leg dies, except wait . . .
your leg never dies, does it?

Your leg never loses a charge. Last week
a girl, fifteen, in Abercrombie & Fitch

was thrown out because she has cerebral
palsy and her sister went in the dressing

room to help her try on a pair of jeans and
that’s against store policy.

If I wanted to write the poem for P-Queue,
I’d write it like this—

a dressing room / a girl / a sister
a try on / a messed up / thrown out
() () () () () () () () () () () () () () () ()
with Fitch / in against / its clothes
Abercrombie body / of was to
help her

–and while I agree the last line is not bad,
is that because it makes sense?

And do you think I’m naive for wanting
store policy change through poetry?

If not change, then just one electrical socket
attached by wire to one charger glowing

green attached by wire to one girl’s leg
(it doesn’t have to be my leg)

in at least one poem in the English language?
Look. The girl with her leg plugged in.

She’s in a poem now. She must exist.
The girl from the Abercrombie news clip

is not that store’s type. Maybe because
that girl never existed in a poem.

She hasn’t been poetry’s type. But I’m not
angry, Andrew. This isn’t anger.

This is a debate. I didn’t get angry until
I read just now in P-Queue this poem

by Divya Victor:

“When the thighs are taken away, one is stumped. One can only / totter away; a stumbledum, a tumbler brimming with demand. / Dimly, one is the witnesses to an / uroboric outpour of bored / bodies. Herein, the harkening of the sound of knock-kneed,
one-legged pirating of a floor plan drawn to the scale of the / bourgeois body.”

Andrew—What is this? Did you pick it?
Am I a stumbledum? Will you ask Divya

if she thinks I’m a stumbledum? Here is this
from Divya’s Artist Statement

on the site Just Buffalo: “To write poetry
[…] is to accept our responsibilities of

making possible positive change.” Is this
positive change, Andrew? Divya?

_____

* This poem was accepted for publication by Andrew Rippeon while he was editor of P-Queue. He discussed the poem with Divya Victor who wanted to write a response. Months later, the poem was dropped for publication.


Jillian Weise is the author of the poetry collection The Amputee’s Guide to Sex (Soft Skull Press, 2007) and the novel The Colony (Counterpoint/Soft Skull Press, 2010). Her work was selected for the film series Poetry Everywhere, produced by PBS and the Poetry Foundation. Her essay, “Going Cyborg,” appeared in The New York Times. Recent work is forthcoming in the anthology Beauty Is a Verb: The New Poetry of Disability. Occasionally, she makes movie poems. (Today’s poem originally appeared in the first issue of the brand new journal Catch Up and is reprinted by permission of the poet.)

Editor’s Note: Recently I’ve been thinking about poetry that is doing something larger than itself. Poetry that matters beyond its beautiful language, music, and imagery. Today’s entry in this series is just such a poem. With “Here Is the Anger Andrew Asked For,” and the background and dialogue that have become a part of the poem itself, Weise is speaking up and out for what she as an artist and a human believes in. Her politics about disability, and her disagreement with some other poets about the use of degrading imagery around disability, become a part of the life of the poem itself. By pushing onward and getting the word out there about her battle, Weise is using poetry to reach off the page, beyond the world of art, and into a larger, more meaningful dialogue.

Want to see more by and about Jillian Weise?
The Colony
The Amputee’s Guide to Sex
Beauty Is a Verb: The New Poetry of Disability

SATURDAY POETRY SERIES PRESENTS: EDGAR RINCÓN LUNA

THE ENCLOSURE
By Edgar Rincón Luna
Translation by Anthony Seidman

At a certain moment
after having left home
you thought that you had forgotten something
an object
something uncertain
and that it was necessary to turn back

Once in particular
while in the middle of childish games and glee
a word took you by surprise
and you turned your gaze elsewhere in search of it

Then with undeniable fear
a voice surprised you while you spoke
another voice
simple another

And when the vast and
traversable night offered herself to you
you became aware how
between the dust and the city
for us
poetry was building an enclosure


EL CERCO
Por Edgar Rincón Luna
En el español original

En algún momento
después de haber salido de casa
pensaste que algo se te había olvidado
un objeto
algo desconocido
y que era necesario regresar

Alguna vez
en medio del juego infantil y la risa
una palabra te tomó por sorpresa
y volviste tus ojos a otro sitio buscándola

Entonces entre el miedo innegable
una voz te soprendió mientras hablabas
otra
simplemente otra

Y cuando la noche se te ofreció vasta
recorrible
te diste cuenta
de cómo entre el polvo y la ciudad
la poesía se nos fue levantando un cerco


(Today’s poem is taken from the collection Aquí empieza la noche interminable (Tierra Adentro; Mexico City). Different versions of today’s poem appeared in Hunger Magazine (2003) and The Bitter Oleander (2010). “El Cerco” and this translation appear here today with permission from both the poet and the translator.)


Edgar Rincón Luna is a poet from Ciudad Juárez, Mexico. He is the author of several collections including Aquí empieza la noche interminable (Tierra Adentro) and Puño de Whiskey (Ediciones sin nombre). His poetry has appeared in dozens of journals in Mexico, Spain, and the United States, including Reverso, Beyond Baroque, Hunger, and The Bitter Oleander.

Editor’s Note: Inherent in the words, imagery, and meter of today’s poem, simplicity dances with vastness in a way that at once lulls me and keeps me alert. Simple, elegant, beautiful; culminating in a final stanza that is as lovely and evanescent as the dust it’s built upon.

Want to see more by and about Edgar Rincón Luna?
las afinidades electivas / las elecciones afectivas

ART

Photograph of Keegan McHargue, 2011, by Graeme Mitchell.

KEEGAN MCHARGUE, THE PERIPATETIC ARTIST RETURNS TO S.F.

by Matt Gonzalez

By the age of 21, Keegan Mchargue was already being feted as an important emerging artist to watch. Debut solo shows in New York in 2003 at the Wrong Gallery and Rivington Arms followed group shows in various cities including New York (Deitch Projects), Los Angeles (Roberts and Tilton), and San Francisco (Luggage Store). If this wasn’t enough to stake his claim in the contemporary art scene, Mchargue was profiled in the prescient Wall Street Journal article “The 23-Year Old Masters” alongside artists Dash Snow, Ryan Trecartin, Rosson Crow and Zane Lewis, among others.

Subsequent shows with Emmanuel Perrotin (Paris), Jack Hanley (San Francisco), Hiromi Yoshii (Tokyo), Metro Pictures (New York), and Layr Wuestenhagen Contemporary (Vienna) all followed.

Mchargue’s  “Natural” marks his return to San Francisco as a seasoned artist ready to show that the promise critics recognized eight years ago has been realized, and his artistic vision has sustained beyond his youthful success.

Mchargue’s positive critical reception, has occurred in part, because he is emblematic of his generation in production, theme and concept. He exemplifies a new kind of artist who employs a kind of multitasking approach to synthesis and a kaleidoscopic penchant for changing forms and ordered randomness. This peripateticism blurs categorization and departs sharply from the single-concept-driven idea of exhibition, so common within the art world today.

Although firmly rooted in an aesthetic more closely associated with the Mission School, Mchargue is fascinated with the subconscious, and his work is as much about revealing himself and forcing the viewer to engage with his associations as it is about anything else.

The Surrealists also presented artworks as a manifestation of the subconscious, yet the work they made, while tapping into the unconscious mind, was subject to a psychoanalytic critique that accused it of being highly shaped and processed by the ego.

Juxtaposed against the unorganized instinctive drives and impulses of the subconscious, the ego represents the rational and organized aspects of personality. When present, it contains and boxes in the work of art and limits the kind of inquiry into personal subject areas an artist might otherwise attain.

Unconscious desires and concerns need a mechanism to break through repression. Mchargue attempts to overcome ego by simply taking from a disordered panoply of subject matter. The resulting work is filled with unexpected juxtapositions. Dismembered beings and leprechauns are followed by grid patterns and non-sequiturs.

Mchargue was raised in an artistic household. He has noted that his mother encouraged drawing exercises, such as drawing objects upside down and backwards.  During his obsessive art-making period, Mchargue believes he drew thousands of shoes.

When he paints today, Mchargue harvests these memories and mixes them with contemporary influences. He expresses the subconscious with fantastic imagery and incongruous pairings of subject matter.  His fascination with music, the act of painting with the television on, and his art-infused upbringing all compete as influences.

In some sense the work is an experiment in unfiltered material that simply flows together.  It is arresting because it tries to capture a car crash of ideas and images that smash into each other. The fetishization for multitasking and the production of kaleidoscopic forms underscore whimsy, randomness and the curious order that comes through synthesis.

Mchargue also enjoys removing objects from their natural landscape and placing them in a neutral or negative context to draw them out. By isolating and simplifying the object, he strips it to its essential details which allows the viewer to see it without distraction. At times he seems to place an object in a painting simply because there was space for it there.

The wandering nature of Mchargue’s influences also compels a comparison to the members of the Situationist International, particularly Raoul Vaneigem and Guy Debord.  While they rejected commercialism and would have likely objected to the use of Mchargue’s geometric grids, they do nevertheless have one point of comparison. Their concept of “the dérive,” or the drift, which dates to 1958, in effect was the exposition of psychogeographic method which culminated in explorations in a city with no predetermined purpose, a wandering much like Mchargue’s, although McHargue does it wandering within a mental landscape.

In a dérive one or more persons during a certain period drop their usual motives for movement and action, their relations, their work and leisure activities, and let themselves be drawn by the attractions of the terrain and the encounters they find there… But the dérive includes both this letting go and its necessary contradiction: the domination of psychogeographical variations by the knowledge and calculation of their possibilities.

Knabb, Ken, ed. Situationist International Anthology, Berkeley: Bureau of Public Secrets, 1995. pg 50.

Mchargue’s work is authentically trying to rid itself of preconception and design. And Mchargue’s peripateticism is just that: the wandering mind of someone who manifests his thoughts on a surface, be it paper or canvas, or sculpture. The work is personal and idiosyncratic.  It doesn’t feel made for someone else. Rather, we are invited to eavesdrop on the wanderings he has undertaken, culminating in the finished canvas. His itinerant quality reaches for influences and references without regard to art historical appropriateness.

Matt Gonzalez is a collage artist, lawyer, and politician living in San Francisco.

This essay was first published in Keegan McHargue: Natural (SF: Frey Norris Contemporary & Modern, 2011)

Keegan McHargue: Natural
Frey Norris Contemporary & Modern
September 10 – October 29, 2011
Opening September 10 at 4:00pm to 7:00pm

Small Press Review Series: On Style, or the Natural Lack Thereof As its Own Kind of Style, in Danila Botha’s Got No Secrets

Got No Secrets
Danila Botha
Tightrope Books (2010), 141 pages, $18.95

Some writers are comfortable in a style the way that certain people are comfortable in their clothes. This is not to say that the chosen style is superior; rather, these writers wear their style without self-consciousness or preening. Their work is generally successful because it know its mind.

Danila Botha, author of the appropriately titled Got No Secrets, is one of those writers. With a ferocious punk energy, this first story collection turns over the secret soil of its characters’ hearts: young women struggling with drug habits, abusive relationships, and a tendency toward masochism and other compulsive behaviors. Punk rock haircuts, tattoos, and sexual promiscuity abound.

Here’s a sample passage:

I get that apartment and share it with Tina. I don’t officially drop out, I just stop going to class. I do it until I flunk out, and no one’s around to make me feel guilty. Tina’s strung out so often it’s like living alone. I look at her: bone thin where she once had boobs and hips, black mascara running down her face, her once perfect hair peroxide blond with roots. I wonder if she knows she’s a junkie. She has all these sexy clothes, but she doesn’t even get dressed anymore. She just uses and poses for our webcam. She inserts anything. I once saw her stick a stiletto heel up there.

A big part of readability is rhythm. Botha has a natural sense of rhythm’s nuances – when to linger on a detail or scene and when to breeze past in explication. Couple that with prose that doesn’t call attention to itself – either with self-consciously quirky detail (McSweeney’s), precocious and precious word choice (Nabokov), syntactical clutter (Pynchon), or affected lack of affect (Carver) – and you’ve got stories that, excuse the personification, read themselves. Though I am a painfully slow reader, I finished these twenty-pagers in the time it took to drink a cup of coffee.

At times the language is flat, but you barely notice. “Bone thin” and “peroxide blonde” in the above passage feel stock. Similarly, I wonder why a writer so interested in rubbing our faces in the dirt would employ a euphemism like “up there.” After watching this story’s narrator puke, use ecstasy, have sex with a stranger, and expose herself on webcam, this delicacy about genitalia feels prissy. But under the spell of Botha’s self-assuredness, we read right past it. It is only the critic in me that notices, and only then out of a sense of occupational duty.

Botha is a Canadian by way of South Africa, and she is at her most successful – for this American reader, at least – when she explores her South African roots. Here’s another passage, from the collection’s most successful piece, “Heroin Heights:”

The streets are lined with one-star hotels, street meat vendors, and magoshas getting ready to hlahla any guy desperate enough to pay them. Our apartment is on Claim Street, near Kotze, across the street from the infamous Protea Hotel. It’s legendary for the number of jijis, underage girls, that are there all the time…They all wear the same gold or purple eyeshadow, red lipstick, and black fishnets or torn tights…When they bend over you can see everything. No underwear.

This passage maintains the same naturalness of phrasing as the first. But it is superior in its specificity and rhetorical relationship to the reader. Perhaps the details would seem overly familiar if I were South African, but I am not, and I am guessing most of Botha’s audience is not either. Additionally, the narrator of this story is a young girl with kidney disease, and as we watch her mother struggle to pay for her daughter’s dialysis, our sympathy swells more easily than it does for the more self-afflicted characters of the other pieces. One of this collection’s biggest flaws, its lack of perspective and authorial distance, is absent here. I have no idea how autobiographical these stories are, but all but one are narrated by young females who live in either Canada or South Africa, and Botha seems to expect us to take their plights as seriously as they do. This is noble, but a little distancing irony – or at least some sense of how these women’s parents and boyfriends view them – might have gone a long way. “Heroin Heights” achieves this distance by situating its narrator in the larger social struggles of Johannesburg.

But this lack of distance is also the collection’s strength, a result of its stylistic ingenuousness. If at times this leads to repetitiveness (most of these stories are not just in first person, but also in present tense), a lack of structure (stories seem to begin and end without reason), or a borderline melodrama (nurses who cut themselves, women who can’t get over boyfriends of years prior), it also makes for an immersive read. Botha does well to sink us in subjectivity, but if she can offer a more objective look at that subjectivity’s context, while not losing sight of her essential Botha-ness, her stories will resonate more full and wide.

Guest Op-Ed Piece

The United States Needs a Trade Policy

by William Trent Pancoast

The Roman Empire fell because it had too many slaves and not enough taxpayers (so goes one explanation of the Fall). Isn’t the United States in a similar situation? Our goods are made cheaply by workers (Chinese, Indians, Vietnamese, etc.) enslaved by corporations and we no longer have the robust tax base of fairly compensated American workers making the products we need to buy.

Slavery is illegal in this country. Yet we allow corporations making products with slave labor to ship their goods here unquestioned. In South America little girls are locked in maquiladora compounds sewing brand-name-label clothing. In China, in the steel mill that fabricated the new San Francisco bridge, the workday is sixteen hours long and the pay less than a dollar an hour. In India, small children help manufacture the goods we buy. Why are we letting these morally-tainted products into our country without scrutiny through trade policies and regulations?

The twin evil of the above lack of labor standards is the lack of environmental regulations among our trading partners. There are basic laws in the United States that prohibit corporations from dumping waste and polluting our air, land, and water. Corporations have run from these American laws to countries that have no environmental regulations. Remember the Olympics in China? The smog was so thick that all manufacturing was shut down long before the games were to begin. Chinese rivers are toxic from the industrial waste that corporations dump in them. Why should we let goods manufactured in countries with no environmental regulations into our country unquestioned?

Without good-paying industrial jobs, the United States will eventually lose its middle class. The tax base will continue to erode. Our infrastructure will decline further. The wealthy, and especially corporations, have made it clear that they do not intend to help out with the tax burden, either in the short term or long term.

Do we need tariffs on goods manufactured by slaves in toxic environmental conditions and imported to our country? Maybe. Do we need to reign in the global exploitation of labor and the environment by corporations. Yes, for sure. Corporations need to start behaving. They need to be held accountable for their actions worldwide and pay their fair share of taxes.

There is a lot of yammering going on in Washington about our economy and the decline of our way of life. Our representatives talk about creating jobs, but it goes unsaid that many of our manufacturing jobs now reside in third world countries and that getting these jobs back is what we need to do. They have apparently thrown in the towel, willing to let corporations despoil both the lives of foreign workers and the world’s environment, and at the same time use the United States for the consumer (until the money runs out) dumping grounds for these tainted products.

We need a trade policy in this country. It needed to be started 30 years ago, but today will work. Corporations need to improve their behavior, and they will never do it voluntarily. Our elected representatives in Washington need to start acting like they form a government. Formulating a trade policy would be a good place to start.

***

William Trent Pancoast‘s novels include WILDCAT (2010) and CRASHING (1983). His short stories, essays, and editorials have appeared in Night Train, The Righteyeddeer, The Mountain Call, Solidarity magazine, US News & World Report, and numerous labor publications.  Labeled a “blue collar writer” by the Wall Street Journal in 1986 because of his working class writings, Pancoast recently retired from the auto industry after thirty years as a die maker and union newspaper editor. Born in 1949, the author lives in Ontario, Ohio.

SATURDAY POETRY SERIES PRESENTS: ANTHONY SEIDMAN

TRANSMISSION
By Anthony Seidman

A jungle, a small jungle, the size
of a hummingbird-heart or crab-nebula
witnessed through an Arizona telescope the girth
of a blue whale’s lungs; a jungle
only I can hear: its rustle of fronds, ant
mandibles scissoring leaves which
will raft phalanxes across the river
and into the bush, ox-carcasses scattered and
picked to the bone; a jungle with its thunder
as rain clatters on the canopy
covering this page; a jungle,
no larger than a toddler’s tooth,
yet teeming with beetles, rills,
spider-monkeys, irritable tarantulas, termites;
it is a jungle I taste in the manner
a boy extends his tongue in a snowfield,
and flake lands on tongue’s tip and
twilight is like voices reverberating
through amniotic fluid into an embryo’s sleep;
a jungle I savor as fruitful, fluvial, tang of lemon,
lifetimes of salt, a fountain of milk,
a tributary, the blossom of a wet dream;
this jungle which you too
apprehend, like a man smelling lust
in the pores of a female flushed with estrus,
the way a woman tastes the stiffened nerves
in a boy awakening to puberty like
fanged fish flitting through warm currents–
this, the jungle I bequeath you. It is the genius
jungle, the genus jungle, the shaman’s feather,
and the word’s ovulation. It is the only
jungle that matters. The emerald
flash between two immemorial nocturnes.


(“Transmissions” originally appeared in The Bitter Oleander, and appears here today with permission from the poet.)


Anthony Seidman is the author of six collections of poetry, including Where Thirsts Intersect (The Bitter Oleander Press), Black Neon (Pudding House Press), and the artist’s book The Motel Insomnia, created with French artist, Jean-Claude Loubieres, and published by AdeLeo Editions of Paris, France. His poetry, short fiction, essays and translations have appeared in such publications as Pearl, The Bitter Oleander, Nimrod, Borderlands: Texas Poetry Review, Cider Press Review, Poetry International, and in Latin America in Newsweek en Español, La Jornada, Critica, La Prensa of Managua, Nicaragua, the University of Guadalajara’s Luvina.

Editor’s Note: Today’s poem is as thick as the jungle it shares with us. Words, hard consonants, alliteration, and images have to be cut through with the mind’s machete to trek along this rich track. Your reward? The Congo, the Amazon, the jungles of Papa New Guinea. A jungle that can only be seen under a microscope; a jungle that reaches the far corners of the universe. Be patient, be persistent, be adventurous. Seek, and you shall find.

Want to see more by and about Anthony Seidman?
Out of Nothing
Big Bridge
Scythe
White Print Inc.

Andreas Economakis

A Strange Omen

by Andreas Economakis

I click the light on.  The metal-caged light bulb sputters to life, scattering velvety brown moths into the musty darkness of the cement basement.  The smell of petrol, rot, old magazines and damp dirt fills my nostrils.  I take a halting step down into the urine yellow light, concrete pebbles crunching under my sneakers.  I can feel the dampness of the room on my bare legs, the blackness of the room’s corners and cavernous depths, monsters hiding in my subconscious, hiding their evil from my fragile eyes.

Behind the dusty green boiler, a ruffling sound and the delicate crying of kittens.  Tiger pokes her head around the corner and looks at me.  She emerges with a trembling tail and dangling pink teets, swirling about my legs with nervous affection.  A cobweb dangles from her ear but she doesn’t notice it.  I kneel down and pet her, peeling the delicate cobweb off of her ear.  She hurries back around the boiler and I follow. Slowly.  Six tiny kittens squirm in a furry ball on an old rag between some bricks and a cinderblock, their necks craning toward their mother.  Next to the cinderblock, a dead lizard with caved-in eyes stands silent watch like a dehydrated sphinx, a tiny vent hole under its armpit a sign of where the worms must have entered. A strange omen.

I pick up one of the warm kittens, his little claws ticking my hands, his nose leaving a tiny cold wet spot on my cheek.  His eyes are sealed shut and his mouth is bubblegum pink.  He won’t stop squirming in my hands.  Tiger bumps into my feet constantly, eyes glued on her kitten.  I hear footsteps by the door and quickly place the kitten amongst its brothers and sisters and mommy, moving the dead lizard accidentally.

“Go back upstairs,” I hear from behind me.

I turn and see her stumbling through the darkness, a bag in her hand.  She is dark, almost black, the open basement door backlighting her.  As I walk past her, the smell the wine and cigarettes mingles with the other smells in the room.  I think of turning back but am too chicken.  I turn for one last look and see her kneeling down by the boiler, Tiger swirling about her anxiously.

I enter our quiet house, aware of the sound my footsteps are making, aware of the emptiness all around.  I walk into my bedroom and go to the window.  The narrow street down below is still.  The silver-green olive trees are not rustling and the dark grey clouds that are threatening a storm seem frozen in the sky.

She emerges into the yard, the plastic bag heavy in her hand.  She trickles down the stairs, spilling out onto the street.  She walks to our station wagon and places the bag down by the hatchback.  She walks to the driver’s side door and pulls out her keys.  I can hear the muffled tinkling sound of the keys as she opens the door.  She gets in, turns over the car and gasses the engine, metal gears and pistons groaning, straining.

She gets out and walks around the back.  I watch from the bedroom window, the glass wavy and imperfect.  Dread fills my lungs, my heart, my veins, my eyes.  She kneels down by the exhaust and ties the wriggling bag to the tailpipe.  The bag struggles violently and then goes suddenly limp. She unties the bag and tosses it in the garbage.  She turns and walks back to the running car.  I walk to my bed, burying my head under the pillows.  The wet pillowcase feels cold, cold like the kitten’s nose.  I clamp my eyes shut, and breathe hard. I must not forget to keep breathing. I must not let the worms enter.

–Andreas Economakis

This piece is part of a collection of stories on blindness entitled: The Blindness of Life.

Copyright © 2011, Andreas Economakis. All rights reserved.

For more stories by Andreas Economakis click on the author’s name below.

SATURDAY POETRY SERIES PRESENTS: ELANA BELL

ON A HILLTOP AT THE NASSAR FARM,
OVERLOOKING THE SETTLEMENT OF NEVE DANIEL
By Elana Bell

This is for Amal, whose name means hope,
who thinks of each tree she’s planted like a child,
whose family has lived in the same place
for a hundred years, and when I say place
I mean this exact patch of land
where her father was born, and his father,
so that the shoots he planted before her birth
now sweep over her head. Every March
she plucks the green almonds and chews
their sour fuzzy husks like medicine.

I have never stayed anywhere long enough
to plant something and watch it settle into its bloom.
I am from a people who move.
Who crossed sea and desert and city
with stone monuments, with clocks, with palaces,
on foot, on skeleton trains, through barracks
with iron bunks, aching for a place we could stay.
All our prayers, all our songs for that place
where we had taken root once, where we had been
the ones to send the others packing and now—

Amal laughs with all her teeth and her feet
tickle the soil when she walks. She moves
through her land like an animal. She knows it
in the dark. She feeds stalks to the newborn
colt and collects its droppings like coins
to fertilize the field. Amal loves this land
and when I say land I mean this
exact dirt and the fruit of it
and the sheep who graze it and the children
who eat from it and the dogs who protect it
and the tiny white blossoms it scatters in spring.

And when I say love I mean Amal has never married.

All around her land the settlements sprout like weeds.
They block out the sun and suck precious water
through taps and pipes while Amal digs wells
to collect the rain. I am writing this poem
though I have never drunk rain
collected from a well dug by my own hands,
never pulled a colt through
the narrow opening covered in birth fluid
and watched its mother lick it clean,
or eaten a meal made entirely of things
I got down on my knees to plant.

And when I say settlement I mean
I love the red tiled roofs,
the garden in the shape of a garden,
water that comes when I call it forth
with the flick of my wrist and my hand on the tap.
Only lately I find that when I ache
it takes the shape of a well.
And when I bleed I emit a scent
something like a sheep in heat,
like dirt after rain,
like a patch of small white flowers
too wild to name.

(“On a Hilltop at the Nassar Farm, Overlooking the Settlement of Neve Daniel” originally appeared in CALYX Journal Summer 2011 issue, Volume 26:3, and appears here today with permission from the poet.)

See Elana Bell Read in New York 8/24/2011:
Rediscovering Literature by Women:
Readings by CALYX Authors
Elana Bell, Claudia Cortese, and Janlori Goldman
Bluestockings Bookstore, 172 Allen St. New York, NY 10002
Wednesday August 24, 2011 at 7 P.M.

Elana Bell was selected by Fanny Howe as the winner of the Walt Whitman Award for 2011. Her first collection of poetry, Eyes, Stones, will be published by Louisiana State University Press in 2012. Elana is the recipient of grants and fellowships from the Jerome Foundation, the Edward Albee Foundation, and the Drisha Institute. Her work has recently appeared in Harvard Review, CALYX Journal, Bellevue Literary Review, and Storyscape. Elana has led creative writing workshops for women in prison, for educators, and for underserved high school students in Israel, Palestine, and throughout the five boroughs of New York City. She currently serves as the writer-in-residence for the Bronx Academy of Letters and sings with the a cappella trio Saheli.

Editor’s Note: Peace poetry, like peace itself, is not always easy. An effective peace poem gets the reader thinking by pushing them to the edges of their own comfort zones, thereby shifting their stance, if only a little. Today’s poem pushes me to the edges of my own mindset, makes me a little uncomfortable, and leaves me thinking about Israeli Palestinian borders in a slightly altered way. Elana Bell has a true gift for this. Before the work she does, before who and what she stands for, I am humbled. But at the end of the day, the poem itself must capture me for me to share it here with you. When I first laid eyes on her words, Elana Bell had me at “the ache at the center of the world,” and today she blew me away with “Only lately I find that when I ache / it takes the shape of a well.”

Want to see more by and about Elana Bell?
Academy of American Poets
Harvard Review
Storyscape
Union Station