Ryan Quinn Flanagan: “Newman’s Own Goons”



Newman’s Own Goons

Remember that guy at the end
of the movie Slap Shot
that does a strip tease on ice
while everyone else is fighting
around him?

That’s how I feel most the time.
But no one gives me a trophy
or parade at the end.

Which is fine with me,
I just want to dance.

Throw off my shirt
and kick off these tiresome

In the movie,
the high school band
provides the serenade.

I don’t need all those instruments.

This is a strip tease,
not an operating table.

And Newman’s Own goons
from that tiny nowhere
factory town.

All with glasses so thick
you can’t imagine anyone ever
saw the puck.


About the Author: Ryan Quinn Flanagan is a Canadian-born author residing in Elliot Lake, Ontario, Canada with his wife and many mounds of snow.  His work can be found both in print and online in such places as: Evergreen Review, As It Ought To Be Magazine The New York Quarterly, Cultural Weekly, In Between Hangovers, Red Fez, and The Oklahoma Review.


More by Ryan Quinn Flanagan:

Artisanal Birds

Before Evening Med Pass

He Brought His Canvases Over


Image Credit: “Hockey team – P. Shea, De Barr, Myers, Brooks, Comer, Osmum, Smith, Sharp, and Jesson” The Library of Congress

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